Can I have it all?

I started writing this blog post a few years ago.  The post has been edited minimally.  The sentiment still rings true today as it did 2 years ago.  

One of those rare moments.....the 4 of us at a Cub Scout Pack Event.

There was a blogger, Amy Glass, who created a huge "discussion" with her blog post,
 I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry.  At first, I was appalled by her snarky tone and "all about me" attitude.  I knew she was probably just trying to make a name for herself and to get noticed by insulting moms.  You want your name or company in the news.... Insult a mom.

The bigger picture here, is how my generation is told "YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!  THE HUSBAND, KIDS, HOUSE, CAREER!"  Life is going to be be Pinterest-ingly perfect!  After working in a male dominated career for over 18 years, being married for 9 years, working with said spouse for 13, being a mom for almost 8 years...  I have "it all".  It takes one hell of a woman to juggle this life.  For those of us who work out of the home, we have help.  We have to.  My help is my hubby who is anal retentive about cleaning (score one for me).  My In-laws who come to our aid as child care givers and pick up whenever and wherever we leave off.  Friends who will text me to remind me of school issues and deadlines. 

I know I will have to make a decision within the next year or so about whether or not I should continue working at the rate I am.   It is not that I am overworked at my day-job, it is just life as a funeral director/embalmer with a funeral director/embalmer husband is a lot of juggling.  It is not a lifestyle for the weak.  Our life revolves around funeral service being number 1, hubby and I together are number 2, family number 3.  My issue is that my boys are now realizing that we don't make it to the school functions OR only one of us makes it.  The guilt is not from other parents or from someone telling me this is what I am expected to do.  The guilt is from the big blue or hazel  eyes looking at me asking, "You and daddy are going to be there, right?"  Most of the time I answer,  "Yes, just as long as the funeral home doesn't need us first."

Then, you have the stay at home moms.  All I have to say to anyone woman who does not have kids, you can not begin to fathom what being a stay at home mom entails.  That is why I work!  There will be a special place in heaven for the stay at home moms/dads.  The stay at home mom/dad is the cornerstone of most of the extracurricular activities that our kids will have.  If you are lucky, you have a stay at home mom/dad looking out for you!

The real, unedited picture:  As a woman,  you are fighting so many fronts for your identity and you are told you are supposed to fit into different molds depending who you are talking to.  Women just need to support each other.  PERIOD.

***When I originally wrote this, I was just a stressed out mom who worked.  Now, I am a Cub Scout Leader, too!!!  The juggling is worse, but more fulfilling.  Being involved with such a one-on-one family centered group has been awesome.  It makes me slow down (while at Scouts) and just be there for the boys. ***

And....She's OFF!

I had this list of Goals that I wanted to get accomplished from the beginning of the year.

Goal 1.  Keep a running list of goals
Goal 2.  Get my office/ studio organised
Goal 3.  Get back into shape
Goal 4.  Keep the household better
Goal 5.  Work on my two at-home businesses more

Now, Goals 1, 2, 4 and 5 have been worked on!  I wouldn't say that I have completed or excelled at these things.  I have just been working on things, as I get the time.

Goal 3, I TOTALLY ignored.  I started the year at 150 pounds and just kind of flabby.  I noticed in the beginning of this month (August) that I am 160 pounds and getting round.  With the addition of the roundness, I have begun to notice my scoliosis.  I am only 5'3".  The BMI indexes say I am overweight.  One even said I was morbidly obesese.  I started watching what I eat 2 weeks ago.  I am using the app "MyFitnessPal" to keep track of exceraing and my food diary.  So far, I have lost 2.5 pounds.  I have not measured myself yet.

This is my "start" photo.  Yes, I know, I look like I am in my second trimester.....

But, it is a start.  I just wish I could get my arse up early enough and on a regular basis to exercise!  I can not get past week one of "Couch-2-5K" before hitting a snag and not being able to work out for a few days.  More to come!!!!

Yippee Dread

For those of us who craft and then sell our lovely creations, there is always that moment of dread.  The dread is there especially if you sell online. 

Yes, you have made your wonderful creation with supplies and creativity.  You lovingly take photos, crop said photos, cuss out the darn camera and editing software (maybe that is just me and the other jewelry sellers…) You put the listing on Etsy, E-bay or the other gazillion online shopping venues.  You wait for the right person to discover your lovely-extension-of-the-artist handmade piece. 

Then… it… happens… YOU GOT A SALE!!!  You are elated!  You get out your packaging.   You look at the item.  Everything is together, nothing is tarnished or broken.  Anything that is supposed to move, moves.  Yay!  Item either gets wrapped or placed in a jewelry box.  The packaged item gets a ribbon tied around it.  Business card gets tucked in under the ribbon.  Thank you card is written and sealed.  The “freebies” are selected.  (Right now, mine are handmade Breast Cancer Pins along with a more traditional enameled Pink Ribbon.)  Everything is placed in a padded envelope.  Envelope gets addressed.  Whew!  A lot of work, but no dread yet.

You drive said creation to the post office.  Yes, I prefer to go to the actual building and mail it personally.  The moment I hand the envelope to the Postal Attendant or put it in the drop-box-rolling-thing…that…is…when…the…dread…STARTS!!!

OMG!  Is anything going to happen during shipping?  Are they going to like it?  Are they going to hate it?  What if it breaks?  What if they say it doesn’t look like the picture (that, by the way was such a pain to get right)?  Am I talented?  Who would want to wear anything I made?  Are they going to think I charged too much?

  WHAT IF THEY GIVE ME BAD FEEDBACK?!?

Then, a few days later you may get an e-mail, convo or notice the feedback on your site of choice.  Relief sets in.  The simple positive transaction rating keeps me asking questions.  I do like it when people mention my packaging.  I always wonder about the customers I never hear from.  The best is when you get re-orders!  Total validation!  

This week, I did get one of the BEST E-MAILS EVER!!!!   

Kelly,

I just received my order...and can I just tell you that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the necklace.  I've worn it just today and have already gotten compliments on it! The other two items are for my daughters as Birthday gifts...they are very cute and I'm sure they will love them.  Now.....can you do earrings that would match/coordinate with the necklace...I don't have anything that would quite go with it.....what do you think? :D

Stephanie M.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.

Al Franken, Stuart Smalley in Saturday Night Live, catchphrase

***yes, I was a teenager all through out the 1990's....***

SHE BELIEVED SHE COULD SO SHE DID.

She believed she could so she did.
I came across this quote a couple of weeks ago when I was making my Dry Erase Goal Sheets. (More on that later.) The quote is so simple. I have had a rough start this New Year. We have been busy at the office, so not much has been getting done at home. There is so much that needs to be attended to. I was going to have a pity party for myself, and then reality slaps me in the face.

My struggles are tiny compared to the struggles of others. I have been following a blog called “EBing a Mommy.” It is a narrative of the struggles a Mommy has caring for a toddler son that has a rare genetic disorder (explanation is at the end of this post.) Courtney (the mom) has unbelievable strength and grace in her writing. I know her days are hard and trying, but her posts are so calm and inspiring. Her little boy passed away this weekend. With extraordinary grace she wrote a small post to let everyone know. Her life has revolved around the constant care her son needed. I don’t know if I could have done all the things she did. SHE BELIEVED SHE COULD SO SHE DID.

There are struggles all around us. Some are very public. Some very private. My life is trying because I see the struggles every day. I get a bit numb. As a funeral director, every detail at work is important. At home, the details of running a household are not very important to me. But my children, family and home need to be as important as the families I serve. I need to work on me. I need to work on my goals. I need to be there for my family. I need to find pleasure in the small things. I need to slow down. We only do this once. There are no do-overs.

She believed she could so she did.

The information below is copied from http://www.debra.org/
Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB) is a rare genetic disorder that is painful and can lead to disability, disfigurement & early death. There is no cure or treatment today. EB makes the skin so fragile that the slightest friction causes blisters and skin tears. The eyes, mouth, throat and other internal organs are also affected.