Monday, January 25, 2016

Can I have it all?

I started writing this blog post a few years ago.  The post has been edited minimally.  The sentiment still rings true today as it did 2 years ago.  

One of those rare moments.....the 4 of us at a Cub Scout Pack Event.

There was a blogger, Amy Glass, who created a huge "discussion" with her blog post,

 I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry.  At first, I was appalled by her snarky tone and "all about me" attitude.  I knew she was probably just trying to make a name for herself and to get noticed by insulting moms.  You want your name or company in the news.... Insult a mom.

The bigger picture here, is how my generation is told "YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!  THE HUSBAND, KIDS, HOUSE, CAREER!"  Life is going to be be Pinterest-ingly perfect!  After working in a male dominated career for over 18 years, being married for 9 years, working with said spouse for 13, being a mom for almost 8 years...  I have "it all".  It takes one hell of a woman to juggle this life.  For those of us who work out of the home, we have help.  We have to.  My help is my hubby who is anal retentive about cleaning (score one for me).  My In-laws who come to our aid as child care givers and pick up whenever and wherever we leave off.  Friends who will text me to remind me of school issues and deadlines. 

I know I will have to make a decision within the next year or so about whether or not I should continue working at the rate I am.   It is not that I am overworked at my day-job, it is just life as a funeral director/embalmer with a funeral director/embalmer husband is a lot of juggling.  It is not a lifestyle for the weak.  Our life revolves around funeral service being number 1, hubby and I together are number 2, family number 3.  My issue is that my boys are now realizing that we don't make it to the school functions OR only one of us makes it.  The guilt is not from other parents or from someone telling me this is what I am expected to do.  The guilt is from the big blue or hazel  eyes looking at me asking, "You and daddy are going to be there, right?"  Most of the time I answer,  "Yes, just as long as the funeral home doesn't need us first."

Then, you have the stay at home moms.  All I have to say to anyone woman who does not have kids, you can not begin to fathom what being a stay at home mom entails.  That is why I work!  There will be a special place in heaven for the stay at home moms/dads.  The stay at home mom/dad is the cornerstone of most of the extracurricular activities that our kids will have.  If you are lucky, you have a stay at home mom/dad looking out for you!

The real, unedited picture:  As a woman,  you are fighting so many fronts for your identity and you are told you are supposed to fit into different molds depending who you are talking to.  Women just need to support each other.  PERIOD.

***When I originally wrote this, I was just a stressed out mom who worked.  Now, I am a Cub Scout Leader, too!!!  The juggling is worse, but more fulfilling.  Being involved with such a one-on-one family centered group has been awesome.  It makes me slow down (while at Scouts) and just be there for the boys. ***


  1. Well said! You're doing great :)

    1. Thank you, Emma! I just keep moving forward! I try not to judge any mom or non-mom.... We are all on our own journeys and need to hear the "You're doing great :)"

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  2. Well said! You're doing great :)